Becoming an empty nester can be a profound, challenging transformative experience, especially for single parents like me. As the house grows quieter and daily routines shift, it’s natural to feel a mixture of emotions—pride, excitement, feeling off kilter and sometimes even sadness and grief. Yet, this is also an incredible opportunity to reimagine your life in a way that brings you joy, fulfillment, and new possibilities.
The journey to embracing the empty nester life varies for everyone, unfolding in stages. Perhaps your child still sees your home as “home base (like my daughter does),” or maybe they’re mostly independent but occasionally return for financial help and or emotional support. Sometimes, you may be in a phase where they’re in and out, perhaps in college, balancing independence with familiarity. Each stage allows you to adapt, adjusting your role as a parent to a young adult while finding your own footing in this new chapter of life.
Life as a Single Empty Nester
For many single parents, this shift presents an invitation to explore who you are outside of being “Mom” or “Dad.” The empty nest is your blank canvas, ready to be painted with experiences that reflect only your passions, interests, and aspirations. What were the dreams you put on hold while focusing on parenting? What parts of yourself are you excited to rediscover? Now is the time to embrace those dreams, whether it’s pursuing a new career, learning a new skill, or simply enjoying a more intentional, peaceful lifestyle.
Of course, this newfound space in your life doesn’t mean your bond with your child fades. If anything, it becomes more nuanced as they establish their own independence. And as they enter romantic relationships of their own, your role as a parent takes on a different shape. There’s joy in watching them find companionship, and yet there’s an adjustment, too. Navigating this shift with respect—giving them space, supporting them without overstepping—creates a respectful, healthy dynamic that enriches your relationship. This new connection can be deeply fulfilling, as you witness your child grow while fostering a more balanced bond.
With children forging their own paths, you may feel called to nurture connections outside the family, investing more in friendships and communities that bring companionship, inspiration, and joy. Engaging in local groups, book clubs, or volunteer work can add a meaningful rhythm to your days. It’s a chance to build your “chosen family”—friends and mentors who share similar experiences and can support you through this stage.
Take on New Adventures
If you’ve always had a love for adventure, this stage might be the perfect time to embrace solo travel. Imagine the thrill of planning trips that are completely about what you love—from exploring new cities to immersing yourself in cultures you’ve always admired. And why not dive even deeper by learning a new language? The journey of language learning, whether it’s Spanish, Italian, or Japanese, adds a beautiful layer to travel. It’s both mentally stimulating and incredibly rewarding, allowing you to connect authentically with people from different backgrounds.
Home, too, takes on new meaning in the empty nester phase. Where it was once the center of family life, your home can now become a space that reflects your personality and brings you peace. Consider creating a cozy reading nook, a meditation corner, or a room dedicated to art or other hobbies. Decluttering, refreshing decor, and creating spaces designed just for you can transform your home into a sanctuary—a retreat that feels nurturing and aligned with your next chapter.
Amid all these possibilities, it’s important to honor the quieter, more reflective side of this journey. After years of dedicated parenting, it’s normal to feel a deep sense of grief as this chapter closes. The end of daily routines, shared moments, and the constant presence of your child can feel like a profound loss. Allow yourself to sit with these feelings. Embracing grief as a natural response to change can be a healing step in moving forward.
Reflecting on it all
Reflection can be a powerful tool for processing emotions. Journaling or simply taking time to think about what you loved most about your parenting role—and how you can carry those aspects forward—can bring comfort. Small rituals, such as lighting a candle in the evenings or indulging in your favorite beverage or setting aside a dedicated space for cherished memories, can help you honor this transition. Leaning on others who understand this journey—whether through support groups, friends, family members or other empty nesters—can provide a shared sense of emotional resilience.
While sadness may be part of life as a single empty nester, it also opens doors to self-discovery. As you release old routines, you make space to explore new ones and reconnect with parts of yourself that may have taken a backseat. Remember, you’re not saying goodbye to your role as a parent; you’re simply evolving within it, finding fulfillment in your own growth while cheering on your child’s journey from a new perspective. You might even turn to hypnotherapy as a way to find more joy in empty nesting!
Enjoy the Moment
In this spirit, the empty nester phase offers a unique chance to focus on legacy. This doesn’t mean grand gestures; instead, think about the small ways you can leave a positive impact—writing family stories or collecting all those family photos in one place, mentoring younger generations, or getting involved in causes you care about. Sharing these experiences with your adult child, such as volunteering together or passing down family traditions, can strengthen your bond in a new, balanced way.
Ultimately, this stage of life is about honoring the past and celebrating the future. It’s a time to create memories, explore passions, and nurture relationships—both old and new. The empty nest isn’t empty at all; it’s a beautiful blank canvas, ready to be filled by you with the colors of your next adventure. Embrace the journey with purpose, curiosity, and gratitude, knowing that the next chapter is yours to write.
BUCKET LIST FOR EMPTY NESTERS
Rediscover an Old Passion
- Rekindle a hobby or interest you’ve missed—whether it’s painting, playing an instrument, or gardening. I have started cooking more for just my enjoyment. Of course, I do share with neighbors and friends! I also knit (very badly!) for relaxation. Being an empty nester can be lots of fun!
Embrace Solo Travel Adventures
- Plan a trip just for you! Visit a new city, country, or a dream destination you’ve always wanted to explore. This past summer I took my first solo trip in years to a beach town not too far away. I discovered a whole new area to explore and had a blast! I will do another solo trip next year somewhere new.
Learn a New Language
- Dive into language learning for a mental challenge and a deeper travel experience. Try Spanish, Italian, or another language that excites you. Just before Covid hit, I went back to studying Japanese (my second language) and have continued to this day with my daughter’s old tutor.
Transform Your Home into a Personal Sanctuary
- Redesign spaces to reflect your personality—create a cozy reading nook, meditation corner, or hobby area. While I am not ready to dismantle my daughter’s room just yet, I have started making other parts of the house ‘more me.’ Cozy throw blankets on all the sofas (which our dog has decided are all his!), slowly going through the house and getting rid of what no longer serves me or doesn’t work to have less clutter. I have become more interested in gardening this year. I grew my first vegetables and plan to expand more next year along with my herb garden.
Build New Friendships and Connections
- Join a book club, community group, or volunteer for causes you’re passionate about to nurture meaningful relationships. I am thinking of volunteering more at a local nonprofit over the winter break. I have my eye on a number of them and have already signed up to help pack up food just before Thanksgiving for local needy residents.
Write a Family Story or Memoir
- Capture family memories, stories, and wisdom for future generations, or start journaling your personal journey. Recently I compiled all of my daughter’s photos and videos and shared them with her all in one place. It was fun to remember all that we have done together.
Honor the Past with Reflection and Rituals
- Create a small ritual to mark this new stage—light a candle, set up a space for cherished memories, or write reflections on this transition. I grow roses and have started bringing them into the house regularly to enjoy. I place them not only around the house, but also on my desk at the start of each work week to enjoy and admire on a daily basis.
Explore Legacy-Building Projects
- Consider mentoring, volunteering, or engaging in causes you care about as a way to give back and leave a meaningful impact. While not exactly legacy building, I have made sure that my daughter is on all of my bank accounts, have recently added her to a credit card for emergencies and years ago created a trust for our house to be passed down to her. She also knows where all important documents are as well.
Take a Class or Learn a New Skill
- Enroll in a local or online class to discover something new—whether it’s photography, cooking, or dance. I want to get back to swing dancing! There’s a dance studio nearby that I want to start attending in the new year.
Plan “Me” Days
- Set aside regular days just for yourself. Pamper, explore, and enjoy the simple joys that come with prioritizing self-care. I am determined to make this more a weekly part of my life. This weekend I am going to a local cafe that is hosting a Paella party! I also like to have at least one weekend day/night that is not calendar driven so that I can be spontaneous to do whatever I want on a regular basis.
Celebrate the New Dynamic with Your Child
- Embrace their independence and support their journey as adults, respecting their space while celebrating this new chapter in your relationship. My brother and I were talking about this recently as he has three adult kids and way more experience in this area than me. We can only ‘suggest’ and no longer can tell them what to do despite our many years of experience! Maybe the hardest part of this journey is learning to just listen and not lecture! Sigh……
Getting a New Pet or Dealing with an Aging one
I have never dealt with an aging pet. Although we always had dogs growing up, my Mom dealt with this aspect. Now that we have an aging pet who has had two serious and major health issues this year, I have only compassion and empathy for my Mom. Our dog, Shadow, and my daughter grew up together. He is very much a beloved member of our family. But I never considered how much the burden of care and cost would fall on me as a single empty nester. Thankfully she has come home during these challenges and we make all decisions regarding his care together but it is still very stressful as I navigate this often limiting aspect of my daily life as he needs more of my attention and care.
At this point, I don’t have the bandwidth to bring in a new pet to the family, but that is certainly a wonderful idea for others to consider.